This blog might explain my long absences from well ahh actually updating the blog. The rush of things that seems to go one of two ways…. rushing to the finish line… or the paralysis of the deadline which can see things grind to a halt.
In the case of updating the blog I seem to be hovering in paralysis status… In order not to rush the blogs I just do the safest thing possible… nothing. (that’s another blog for another time! :))
Strangely enough it brings me back to a really funny saying my dad has used constantly over the years, a saying I am only beginning to understand now. It's difficult to translate directly from the Greek version because its almost all lost in translation, but it goes something like this. He who is of no mind (not present) always has their legs. What it actually means is that when we rush the state of things we are often forced to take the longer route in the end. Check.
Recently I have found this to be the case in the editing of my documentary on medical cannabis. Forced to relocate the project because of ongoing delays I rushed to my new editing studio only to get there and knock over my hard drive just moments before it was due to back up my project. You can only fathom what happened next. I lost the entire project. And each time I have rushed into post production on this project it has not been aligned to the right team with the appropriate skill set. You can only guess what that means. 11 weeks of delays.
So what is a sometimes impetuous and impatient soul like myself supposed to do to amend this way of life, this state of things? Well nothing actually. Ironically its the letting go which accelerates things. When friends used to offer well-meaning advice to ‘surrender’ I recognised it as empowerment literature that always read well in theory, but more difficult to apply and actualise. Testing the theory in the real world is not easy, but its also the land of breakthroughs.
So back to the doco. During those first few months of post production when everything felt like it was whizzing past in a blur, I couldn’t see things in a linear way… storylines were constantly tumble-drying in my mind. The recent death of one of my beloved subjects who featured in the documentary was a hard knock to absorb. And the niggling worries continue. The serious illness of another friend also featured in the documentary plagues me every day. The desperate families who understandably need this film to be ready NOW. The responsibility, the overwhelm, the seemingly insurmountable challenges.
But in the end, the story will be complete when letting go begins…. and that means when the rushing stops, the beginning will appear… and step by step the end will slowly come into focus and appear too. Clarity is everything. Always begin with the end in mind is a great saying and so true... but don't forget what got you inspired in the first place. The magic often happens in the in-between. I have learned the hard way that suspending the creative process between the beginning and the end, The rush of things mindset, will only induce more delays.
Letting go means letting faith in. Faith that everything will always be taken care of, in the way its meant to be, in the way its often meant to evolve, with the original intention in mind. In retrospect, the continued delays around my project have offered me countless blessings, to refine, amend and strengthen the vision of this film in a way I could never have envisaged before. But its also resulted in unnecessary pain, because I got in my own way. I stopped trusting. It was only when I was forced to slow down that I could see the entire landscape.
And what have I learned? That being overwhelmed by the entirety of a ‘thing’ (insert whatever that 'thing' is to you) will mean we can’t see the most crucial thing: what’s in front of us and the reason we were inspired to take on this ‘thing’ in the first place. The embedded magic of that original vision once inhaled is a powerful creative force which allows your dream to leave its safe port and take off wherever its meant to go. That’s the part we also have to let go. But its almost beside the point, because in letting go the dream becomes airborne.